habuk

it has been awhile now

(tiup habuk)

too many things had happened for the past few months

and now that im home (almost all the time)

guess i will start blogging again

toodles!

gym on mandomonday

Managed to drag my lazybum to gym, (finally!) after a very loooong unnecessary break.

And I met a friend.
Whom I just met once (i think so) 5 months ago since he's a friend to my best friend.

As we talked.
He happened to be a close friend to my boyfriend's bestfriend.
Whom happened to be my boyfriend's friend too.

And all of us happened to work in KJ.
So we decided to have a lunch together at tasek this afternoon.
(sbp reunited ;p)

So yeah.
Its a small world after all.

greys anatomy quote 1

"You can waste your time drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them"
Meredith Grey, Greys Anatomy

Everyday, we make decisions. Whether to step or not to. Whether to run or not to. Whether to eat alot and regret or maintain a healthy diet. Whether to sleep early or late. Whether we realise it or not, we do make alot of decisions a day. And as an ordinary creature, we tend to draw lines in making decisions. Well drawing lines is of course a good practice so we dont go overboard in certain things. But people sometimes draw too big a line that they cant even live their lives. This is when drawing lines is good but only to some extent.

Lets say for instance, in relationship. You love that someone yet you are scared to say it out loud. Maybe for the sake of your friendship. Or maybe to avoid self embarrassment? Or you are just not ready to be rejected and heartbroken. But your heart keeps on pushing you to just go for it. Call him! Text him! Make surprises! Sometimes we think too much of little things like this. You greet him first, he thinks you're friendly, you sit next to him, he thinks you like him. You say you like him, he thinks you're too easy. You say you hate him, he thinks you’re arrogant. You express your love, he thinks you're cheap. With all those in mind, things will eventually get complicated when they are actually not.

You can keep on drawing lines, but sometimes you have to try crossing them. You wont know how sweet the sugar is if you don’t taste any. You have to get yourself drowned a few times before you can start swimming. Well at least I have crossed mine. Quite a few times actually. Sometimes both ways. Regrets and stupid moments, they passed. Enjoying life, that’s exactly what I am doing.

Don’t think too much. Your life your way, after all you’re the one driving it. Follow your heart, pursue your dreams. Just go! Seriously.

Cross the line.

a phase

It has been long. Since my 25th birthday or should I say the most hectic painful day I had to go through. I was too hurt to talk about it. If you must know, your intention to hurt me succeeded with flying colors. Beyond words.

But seriously it was just a short phase. I am all good now. Am thankful with everything I have. Blessed with all the love showered.

Just go away. Yes, please do.

dushbag

douchebag
my path once crossed one

i regret

tutup buku

from those many many things yang kita nak in life, there will surely be certain things yang kita nak tapi tak dapat.

and i have just encountered one.

sangat devastating but thats life, so yeah.

pasrah je la kot?

*tutup buku*

bye.

please dont come again.

thank you.

where is the light

sometimes it is better to have no choices to choose from. because if we do, we then have to decide on one.

and most of the time, it is not that easy. really not that easy.

i want

we do want alot of things

sometimes we get what we want

some other times we dont

sometimes we want things we cant get

we'll try and fight to get them

and most of the time we just dont get them

and to think of it will just hurt

sometimes we get things just like that

even if we dont even want them

so we wont appreciate them that much

sometimes we want things we know we shouldnt

the fact that we shouldnt even want them somehow makes us want them even more

since the thought of not trying to get them alone will make us regret

that will eventually make us really try to get them

oh well again, most of the time we just dont get them

and that hurts

so wake up and stop wanting things

thank you for being you

i have been wanting to blog on this for so long
guess i just have to blame myself for keep on delaying :S
my precious M got engaged last march, 19th march to be exact
and she will officially be off the market this coming 19th!

how time flies~

i started to know her during my IB years in banting
we were in different classes, mine was E03G and hers was E03E if im not mistaken
being the minority, all engineering students got to stay in the same block, same floor
so her room was just a couple of steps away from mine
i used to call her “cucu” due to her cute size compared to the giant me
that was when she started calling me “nenek” :)
we were not that close back then
the most memorable thing was that i used to knock on her door for coins to use public phones
*since Ayah kept on scolding me on my very long phone bills*
she had this one tabung which never failed to please me
another thing was that i could see her on the phone with her beloved T almost all the time, everywhere!
*along the corridors, at the back door, on the iron board, and sometimes in front of the toilet? ;p* and yes i used to borrow her IBM laptop to do my physics extended essay
though i would definitely end up playing zuma, just to beat her high score :D

nearly the end of our banting years when we had to decide where to go
she started to play her role
first she dragged me to lecture hall to meet up with eric cooke
then she started knocking on my door to influence me to go to southampton with her
telling me how great the place is though she had never been there herself
well ofcourse, i just said yes without a doubt
seriously she is very good in convincing, i wont be surprised if she turns out to be a lawyer
starting from that moment we started to hang out more often

there was this one incident on this particular afternoon during our orientation week in soton
we were assigned different groups and we already promised to see each other at the praying room once they called it a day
i waited and waited and waited for her yet she never turned up, i was so worried she got lost or something
the fact that she did not have a UK number yet at that time added up to my misery
i could still remember how miserable I was that tears started to fall down while I walked around searching for her
i even asked some seniors to help me out with the searching
at the end of the day when we finally met her, everyone kept on laughing and saying how silly i was
well she did get lost but she finally made her way to her montefiore :)

being far far away from home was quite a problem in the beginning
especially when i had to go through my so-called midlife crisis in 2006
i was so lucky i have her
through thick and thin, she was always there to push me forward so i kept moving on
well i could say after my parents and family members, she was the one with the biggest impact in my life
through out my studies, my life, my everyday problems, my sillyness, my stupidity
even until i managed to start my working life

well M i know i cant thank you enough
but thank you
you are in fact the bestest best friend i ever had
i thank God that our paths crossed and i will keep on praying that it will never come to an end
all the best for the new journey you are about to encounter

*the only decent picture from our sleepover with mews*

with love

a hypocrite backstabber

one minute you lent me your ears

you agreed with what i said

you even had an issue with him yourself

-------------------------------------

one minute u talked behind my back

worse you talked on things you werent even sure yourself

membunuh itu lebih baik dari menabur fitnah

did you not know that?

yes, you should have committed suicide first i guess

-------------------------------------

one minute you walked to my side

with fake smiles plastered you asked for my help?

--------------------------------------

grow up young man, do you really think you are in a wonderland?

stop dreaming and pleaseeeee..just get lost!!

i think

this blog has been abandoned for quite awhile
blame the new life i'm in now

ive gone thru alot eversince i came back for good
well as time passes by, things change, people change, i change
but these past few months was a big one for me
not only the fact that im staying alone (which i couldnt believe it myself until now)
but so many other things too

oh yes ive started working
where i was quite excited at the very beginning
though the pay is not that much compared to others
first, i got to practise what i learned during my uni years (ye laa sangat kan)
number 2, i got to go to work wearing jeans (how about u?)
and 3, instead of going in at 8 in the morning, i usually arrive at 9 or 10
oh there was once when i went in at 1120!
and talking about the people, lucky me i managed to secure myself with a very good team!
and a very understanding and kind-hearted boss
pretty cool workplace right :)

well it has been 5months now
and work is piling up and up and up that it is sometimes hard for me to breathe
hhmmmmphhhhhhhhhhh.. (mengeluh panjang)
and that certain people who just couldnt stop giving troubles to others
hhhmmmmmpphhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. (mengeluh lagi panjang)
only god knows