tujuh ramadhan

since kecik, ayah & mak ajar kitorang puasa

wajibkan puasa, and kitorang ikut

though of course sometimes tu ade jugak la cheating

bukak peti minum air sejuk straight from botol

especially time skolah petang sebab pagi tu banyak time bley lari masuk dapur

and malam plak, kitorang kene ikut pegi terawih

kalau tak ikut pun, boleh terawih sendiri kat rumah

but most of the time, mmg kene ikut gi masjid unless berjaya come up dgn reason hebat

macam saket perut, or pening kepala sangat-sangat

apa2pun mmg kena jugak habiskan 8 rakaat terawih and 3 rakaat witir

sometimes tu bila ade geng, ade jugak aku lari pegi playground dekat penjara pengkalan chepa tu

memang best slides kat situ, laju habis especially kalau guna sejadah

banyak kali jugak la escape a few rakaat and pergi melalak kat situ

sampai lah kantoi with ayah and kene marah so tak pergi dah

dalam bulan puasa, ayah & mak nak kitorang khatam satu Quran

so diorang cakap, kalau habis satu juzuk, dpt sepuluh ringgit

so sebab nak dapat kan duit raya banyak plus tiga ratus ringgit

kitorang pun berlumba-lumba la baca Quran

bangun pagi je baca Quran

everytime lepas solat je, baca Quran

rasa lapar petang je baca Quran

malam lepas moreh je baca Quran

lepas main  bunga api pun baca Quran

and memang confirm lah akan sempat habis 30 juzuk and dapat reward as promised

time salam raya tu memang sangat puas hati and bangga

sekarang masing-masing dah besar

mak pun dah takde

and kitorang pun tak duduk dengan ayah except for abang

so takde siapa2 lagi nak suruh, nak ingatkan, nak pesankan

tapi alhamdulillah

berkat usaha mak & ayah

kitorg cuba nak fully utilize bulan puasa ni

harini tujuh ramadhan

terawih masih full

and Quran plak pagi tadi dah habiskan sampai juzuk 9

petang ni nak masuk 10 insyaAllah

thank you ayah, thank you mak

and mostly thank you Allah sebab still bagi chance nak rasa ramadhan

to mak, i miss you we all miss you

semoga mak tenang and happy kat sana

semoga mak ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang beriman dan diredhai Allah

ameen

happy birthday

the day is here again

and it has been 7 times now without u

i miss u mak

all of us do

if u should know, i could still remember how u smell

and yes, we still keep ur perfume in ur crystal cabinet

we only use it during raya

so we could feel that ur there with us

may u rest in peace mak

may we meet again in that eternal bliss

insyaAllah

happy birthday mak

missing u a thousand times more now

with all the love in the world

hugs and kisses

alfatihah

50th post

it has been long since i last caught a bad fever like this
and worse, hmphhh..
(dont see the need to elaborate)

mak, i miss you. i always do
and in times like this, i miss you a zillion times more

hugs.
(please hug me back)

when lovely sister turns 30

taken from kakjulie's facebook post
1st july 2010

my birthday is no more my happy day..
Today at 2:39am

1st july 2004 was my 24th bday.. i was carrying Aisya inside me at 6.5mths.. it wasn't really a happy day, but i pretend to be cheerful..

that morning, since it was my birthday, i wanted to cook bubur kacang, as i never did that before. i asked mak to tell me the steps. while i was cooking, i saw mak wasn't looking usual. she was not as cheerful as the previous days.

i finished cooking my 1st bubur kacang ever. but i didn't taste it. i went back to be with mak. she was on steroid for 5 days already. but that morning, steroid wasn't working for her anymore. she started to frown, fighting back her headache.

i feed mak with nasi tumpang, a special breakfast you can find in Kelantan. she ate little. i knew she was not feeling well. she said she wanted to lie down. i was with her all the time.

during lunch, mak doesn't have the appetite to eat anything, eventhough she asked for ikan keli goreng cili. while we were having lunch. i heard mak vomitted. i ran to her and helped her. i started to cry but tried not to let her see me. i knew she was suffering from her headache. i asked her to eat something and she agreed. i fed her biskut cream krakers and nescafe O. that's all she could afford.

since streroid could not held anymore, i went to the hospital to ask for another meds. mak's doctor gave us morphin, much stronger drugs. she had it but her body could not tolerate. she vomitted again and again. when i was doing my Asar, i cried endlessly. my telekung was soaked. but i never showed my sad feeling to her. i dont want her to feel worse.

after isyak, she told me she couldn't hold the pain anymore. she wanted to go to the hospital so that doctor could do something. i couldn't hold my tears anymore. we called the ambulance and off she went to the hospital. she was admitted.

4th of July, at 4am, she passed away in her sleep. Allah loves her more. we can accept the fact. we are destined to have a very lovely, caring, superb mum, but just for a while.. we are still grateful, aren't we? because we still cherish our mum although she was no more with us.. and we will always talk about her, what she loved and what she liked to do..

al-fatihah to mak.. may you rest in peace, may we meet in heaven.. and you know mak, i never tasted my 1st bubur kacang, because it was so tasteless just like my feeling..

to kakjulie, happy birthday.

since then, u have no idea how precious u are to me.

thank u for being u.

much love.

january the 18th

its the date again

it has been 6 times now that it comes without you for all to celebrate

how i missed to get to see you smile

how i missed to get to hear you calling

how i missed to get to share things with you

how i missed to get to hug and kiss you

how i missed to get to say i love you

i miss you so much, and will always love you

happy birthday mak

alfatihah

dear Mak

dear Mak,

there are so many things i would like to tell you
there are so many things i would like to share
there are so many things i would like to give you
but i realize you are no more there

though it has been four years plus now
i still couldnt face the fact that you are gone forever
becos really, i could still feel you by my side
only when i feel like talking to you, i feel like calling you
then the reality comes and cuts me deep inside
you are zillion miles away

happy mothers day Mak
thank you for everything that you have done
you were my most precious, and still are

al-fatihah..

with love, uwu