right up right up

fill my little world - the feeling

i had a dream we went away, left this city for a day
u took me southwards on a plane and showed me spain or somewhere
but in reality ur not so keen to show me anything
and i thought u like me

hey, show some love, u ain't so tough
come fill my little world right up, right up
someday ur going to realize, i want u to
to fill my little world right up, right up, right up

so what you gonna do with all this stuff
piling up, filling up and taking up, my little
u misunderstand me, all i wanted was some evidence
that u really like me

hey, show some love, u ain't so tough
come fill my little world right up, right up
someday ur going to realize, i want u to
to fill my little world right up, right up, right up

maybe it's all too much, how come we're so messed up
maybe i'm not enough, maybe i'm just too much

hey, show some love, u ain't so tough
come fill my little world right up

hey, show some love, u ain't so tough
come fill my little world right up, right up
someday ur going to realize, i want u to
to fill my little world right up, right up, right up

hey, show some love, u ain't so tough
come fill my little world right up, right up
someday ur going to realize
that i'm passing u by, so fill your little world right up, right up, right up

come on and show, come on and show
come on and show, come on and show
come on and show, come on and show
come on and show, come on and show

i want

we do want alot of things

sometimes we get what we want

some other times we dont

sometimes we want things we cant get

we'll try and fight to get them

and most of the time we just dont get them

and to think of it will just hurt

sometimes we get things just like that

even if we dont even want them

so we wont appreciate them that much

sometimes we want things we know we shouldnt

the fact that we shouldnt even want them somehow makes us want them even more

since the thought of not trying to get them alone will make us regret

that will eventually make us really try to get them

oh well again, most of the time we just dont get them

and that hurts

so wake up and stop wanting things

twenty seven

abang is still in that far far away land
but he's coming back very very soon and im really excited
quickkk big bratha really i cant wait

and today abang turns twenty seven
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABANG!

much love.

jiwa kacau?

harini jiwa dah tak berapa kacau lagi
tapi sakit. sakit. sakit!

:(

count on me count on you

thank u apan for the song. been listening to this over and over again this whole day. well, today somehow is not a good day. really not. am struggling.

one two three

today is july the 13th
three years back, mama safely delivered this very cutie pie

which has now turns into a very notty notty boy
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FARIS!

yuyu miss u soooo mucchh
hugs.

what i want

i want you to want me
10 things i hate about you

i want you to want me
i need you to need me
i'd love you to love me
i'm beggin' you to beg me
i'll shine up my old brown shoes
put on a brand new shirt
get home early from work
if you say that you love me

didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'
oh, didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'
feeling all alone without a friend you know you feel like dying
oh, didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'

i want you to want me
i need you to need me
i'd love you to love me
i'm beggin' you to beg me
i'll shine up my old brown shoes
put on a brand new shirt
get home early from work
if you say that you love me

didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'
oh, didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'
feeling all alone without a friend you know you feel like dying
oh, didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'
feeling all alone without a friend you know you feel like dying
oh, didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'

i want you to want me
i need you to need me
i'd love you to love me
i'm beggin' you to beg me
i want you to want me
i want you to want me
i want you to want me
i want you to want me

grey sky

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine

you make me happy, when skies are grey

you never know dear, how much i love you

please dont take my sunshine away

less and less

everyday i love you less and less
kaiser chiefs

everyday i love you less and less
its clear to see that youve become obsessed
ive got to get this message to the press
that everyday i love you less and less

and everyday i love you less and less
ive got to get this feeling off my chest
the doctor says all i needs pills and rest
since everyday i love you less and less

unless, unless
i know, i feel it in my bones
im sick, im tired of staying in control
oh yes, i feel a rat upon a wheel
ive got to know whats not and what is real

oh yes im stressed, im sorry i digressed
impressed youre dressed to s.o.s
oh, and my parents love me
oh, and my girlfriend loves me

everyday i love you less and less
i cant believe once you and me did sex
it makes me sick to think of you undressed
since everyday i love you less and less

and everyday i love you less and less
youre turning into something i detest
and everybody says that your a mess
since everyday i love you less and less

unless, unless
i know, i feel it in my bones
im sick, im tired of staying in control
oh yes, i feel a rat upon a wheel
ive got to know whats not and what is real

oh yes im stressed, im sorry i digressed
impressed youre dressed to s.o.s
oh, and my parents love me
oh, and my girlfriend loves me
oh, they keep photos of me
oh, thats enough love for me
oh, and my parents love me
oh, and my girlfriend loves me
oh, they keep photos of me
oh, thats enough love for me

when lovely sister turns 30

taken from kakjulie's facebook post
1st july 2010

my birthday is no more my happy day..
Today at 2:39am

1st july 2004 was my 24th bday.. i was carrying Aisya inside me at 6.5mths.. it wasn't really a happy day, but i pretend to be cheerful..

that morning, since it was my birthday, i wanted to cook bubur kacang, as i never did that before. i asked mak to tell me the steps. while i was cooking, i saw mak wasn't looking usual. she was not as cheerful as the previous days.

i finished cooking my 1st bubur kacang ever. but i didn't taste it. i went back to be with mak. she was on steroid for 5 days already. but that morning, steroid wasn't working for her anymore. she started to frown, fighting back her headache.

i feed mak with nasi tumpang, a special breakfast you can find in Kelantan. she ate little. i knew she was not feeling well. she said she wanted to lie down. i was with her all the time.

during lunch, mak doesn't have the appetite to eat anything, eventhough she asked for ikan keli goreng cili. while we were having lunch. i heard mak vomitted. i ran to her and helped her. i started to cry but tried not to let her see me. i knew she was suffering from her headache. i asked her to eat something and she agreed. i fed her biskut cream krakers and nescafe O. that's all she could afford.

since streroid could not held anymore, i went to the hospital to ask for another meds. mak's doctor gave us morphin, much stronger drugs. she had it but her body could not tolerate. she vomitted again and again. when i was doing my Asar, i cried endlessly. my telekung was soaked. but i never showed my sad feeling to her. i dont want her to feel worse.

after isyak, she told me she couldn't hold the pain anymore. she wanted to go to the hospital so that doctor could do something. i couldn't hold my tears anymore. we called the ambulance and off she went to the hospital. she was admitted.

4th of July, at 4am, she passed away in her sleep. Allah loves her more. we can accept the fact. we are destined to have a very lovely, caring, superb mum, but just for a while.. we are still grateful, aren't we? because we still cherish our mum although she was no more with us.. and we will always talk about her, what she loved and what she liked to do..

al-fatihah to mak.. may you rest in peace, may we meet in heaven.. and you know mak, i never tasted my 1st bubur kacang, because it was so tasteless just like my feeling..

to kakjulie, happy birthday.

since then, u have no idea how precious u are to me.

thank u for being u.

much love.